Musings from my kitchen table

Well here I am again sitting and staring at my computer screen, I have done this many times and many times I have come up empty, many times I have felt like I have had so much to say but nothing has come... For me to write is to create and to exhale. To exhale the tension the familiarity  the worry and the running so fast that its the end of the day and I am not sure what I have done. As I exhale I find myself able to see, to dream and able to believe!


So as I sit here here and begin to get frustrated with my lack of divine inspiration I turn to my right I see and image hanging in my hallway WILD AND FREE it says in its faint font with its pastel background and I begin to try and remember the last time I felt wild and free, the last time I felt like I could truly roar with faith and  the last time I really did stand in a wide open space and feel free.. its been awhile///

The wide open space has always been before me I have never been hemmed in yet here I am thinking its been awhile since I was wild and free//

 Life can knock us round sometimes, sometimes we go through seasons where everything is just a little bit harder than we anticipated and sometimes life in itself just sucks the life out of us. And then before we know it we stand hemmed in a little tamer than before and internally not really reassembling anything of what we once were. And then there is a moment, a moment of acknowledgement, a moment of acceptance for what was and what has been, a moment where the sun begins to breakthrough the clouds that we never really realized had settled on us.. You see the beautiful thing with a moment is that that is all it takes, a moment for God to breath life again, a moment for God to open our eyes and cause us to dream again. A moment for us to realize that all we had to do was open the gate and breathe, breathe in the bigness, breathe in peace, breathe in the air just breathe... its a process and its a season but one worth embracing..

So as I sit here and I continue to exhale and I continue to let God realign, refill and assure me that no season past, present or future is ever wasted.. I continue to tune into the voice that tells me the gate is open, the shackles are gone and the season is mine that being wild and free is just a step away if only I would walk and if only I would step! So I make a choice to get up, stand tall put on  my big girl shoes with the kick ass heel and GO, clinging to the truth that if he is for me who can be against and clinging to the fact that I am a called, anointed and chosen daughter of the King, this season and story is mine and once again I can run wild and free...

H x

BE

I'm sitting here in the dark, the lights are out, I'm home alone, well home alone of adult company! On my chest is my sleeping daughter, so fragile and so small yet so full of complexity and incredible design. She really is a miracle! And as I sit I don't really want to move I want to stay in this moment for as long as I can there will be a time when a sleeping baby in my chest is no longer and option, and in the same breathe I'm thinking as I'm writing this that this isn't very spiritual, there isn't s deep revelation that one can share to reflect the glory of God, or to draw people closer to him and as I'm writing this (on an incredibly small screen might I add ) I say STOP.. this is a moment that I won't ever get back, this is a moment that in all of history will never take place again. It will never again be 9.05pm Thursday the 9th February 2017. Never again will this moment be upon me, so often in life I rush, I'm always on to the next task while doing my current task. So often my brain is thinking and comparing, analyzing and overthinking when really all I need to do is be! Be in this moment bask in the complexity of a tiny human made so intricately by a glorious designer, bask in the silence that is the end of the day, bask in a moment where it's just me... so as I sit and as I breathe I focus on The silence and in that silence there lies peace, a peace and a security that I am indeed loved beyond measure, I am indeed enough and I am indeed holy enough. Among the holiness there is life, a life to be lived that is worthy of the calling and worthy of the price Jesus paid, a life that is destined and created to bring glory to the one true living God but it is life and a life to be lived! And sometimes to live is just to be.